This topic might be a bit controversial. When it comes to family, most people get defensive and over emotional, objective criticism and true honesty is really difficult to find. Nevertheless most families I know are functioning ones. Obviously a functioning family needs some sort of a healthy dynamic between members and nowadays I might dare to state that a functioning family needs people who are not too egoistic as well. Our societies promote the ego driven life, mostly everything evolves around ME, ME and a bit more of ME. Me on Instagram, ME on Facebook, ME on Twitter, selfies many times a day, focusing on an image of ME not the substance of me, and so on. Not so much about WE anymore either for a lot of people. Obviously there are many who are already awakened, who know more of the reality of US as a Universal soul, but those who are still asleep in the ME bubble, they can’t comprehend what the minority is talking about. I say minority, because I did not do any research on this ratio, so I want to refrain from overestimating anything.
Hearts are closed and minds are occupied with clutter I find in most people I have come across, and these people are (as I usually call it) beside themselves, not one with themselves. This creates tension even in families. This is why I stated in the beginning, that this topic might come out as controversial. I know some will raise their eyebrows or even close this page. What I talk about is not a happy nor a welcomed topic. Am I surprised? No. More like, I am used to touching areas and pressing buttons that are sensitive. If we never press them, there can’t be change nor growth. Not on the individual level nor on the collective level either.
Many times people talk about sibling love. I believe the word love in this sense must be defined more. As I was looking for some answers during the past 30 odd years regarding why and how some siblings behave as they do (not too lovingly) I found interesting interpretations of human behavior when it comes to our closest relationships i.e. family. I will not refer to any studies here, nor published materials, mostly everything is on the internet thesed days (if someone wants more details, please get in touch with me and I am happy to give names, publications, etc. of course!) if someone needs to learn about these, they will find everything with a little effort. Some state that people are unkind to family members because that is where we (humans) feel safe to behave the worst possible way with little or no consequence. As a cancer patient I am really mad and sad about this statement or finding and perhaps I should send this blog post to all of those psychiatrists who carried out researches and arrived to such nonsense!!!!!! Humans should always treat each other with love, kindness and respect I believe, there can not be any exceptions.
I am listening to friends battling cancer, and how distressed they get every time a sibling or a relative throws a tantrum on them for no obvious reasons. It seems like torture for them, and perhaps had my friends not have cancer, they might fight back somehow. Having a huge battle already to deal with on a daily basis, we can’t handle any other fights, more exactly put, we should NOT be forced into situations that stress us out emotionally!!! Our energy is limited 24/7. The stress these emotional tantrums create weaken our immune system in general, so they make us weaker over all since our body is already weaker than a healthy person’s and eventually cancer wins. I try to tell my friends to protect themselves as much as they can. To protect the heart especially. How? Now that needs another blog post I think. Perhaps I will get back to that later.
Some sources state that we are our own worse enemies, that our minds are more responsible for our illness than these impulses etc. from the outside. Having cancer myself, I might challenge these findings. Up to a certain point sure. We can and we must learn to control our mind and emotions and we must learn to say no to people and situations that deplete us, that do not serve our best interest. But when people are treated unkind, unfair, cheated on, lied to, beaten and intentionally hurt especially by family members, there is little chance for love that helps to cure emotionally triggered and prolonged illness, right? Yes, there are books on cancer type people, how we can not say no to people, to situations, etc, but again, I must say that I do not believe cancer patients become ill without external triggers. If people were kind to each other, even with poor diet and a very very sensitive heart, we would have less cancer patients for sure!
I have been treating myself for 2.5 years now. I know for a fact that our emotions play a huge role in our hormonal balance. Obviously I talk about hormones because I do not have a thyroid anymore, therefore my hormone balance depends on drugs AND how I feel (what I think about each situation triggers hormones in my body, these then become either cancer fighting ones or on the contrary, nevertheless they all are feelings in the end as well!). Even this is something everyone can read about, not my finding at all. When we are surrounded with love, care and positive energy, our vibes and resonance are high, our immune system fights hard and we can concur our illness. Not just cancer I must add quickly. Surrounding ourselves with only likeminded people is most important in my opinion, not only for the ill, but in general. Good vibes in a bunch of people resonate with another bunch, and this way we can make our world a more positive place to live in!
I have experienced both ups and downs during these 2,5 years. Understandably my tumor markers go up and down depending on what kind of environment I am in between tests and how well I am able to focus on my inner positive self and how well I am able to dip into my own strength (we all have it, unfortunately most patients forgot about it!) that is why I try to make sure that stressors are eliminated as much as possible and try to create love inside of me and around me. Even if it means I must eliminate people from my daily life. Family or not, who does not add to my well being, must go.
So to sum it up, if any of you who read my blog have any ill people around you at any point or time in your life, love them unconditionally, cherish every minute of every day you have together, have their best interest at your heart every time you talk with them, or simply let them be. If you do not, you are greatly responsible for their prolonged illness. Most sick people don’t even know about this, let alone will they at any time verbalize this. That is why I am taking the liberty now to write about this.
Remember, every illness has an emotional background, so let’s take care of each other, love much, laugh lots and respect the time we have together!
Love and light, namaste.